Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Thankful for Tears



For several years, I couldn’t seem to cry—no matter what I was going through or what was happening around me. As strange as it seems, during that time, I longed to cry—to feel deeply, to experience once again the cleansing release of tears, like the freshness of the earth after a good rain. But the tears just didn’t come.

Oncein a great while something would pierce my heart so deeply that a few droplets leaked out. But, just as sprinkles in a drought evaporate as soon as they hit the parched ground, my tears only lasted a moment.

I blamed my lack of tears on medication, dry eyes, the craziness of menopause, or maturing to the point that I realized there are only a few things important enough to cry over. But the truth is, it really bothered me. Was my heart dried up along with my tear ducts? I fervently hoped not.

Though I felt hurt, remorse, sympathy, and pain, they rarely even dented the armor of my heart. “Break through, LORD! Like a windy, summer rainstorm, wash away the dust of the day, pour your Spirit into my heart and blow away the armor that entraps me,” I prayed.

Then one Sunday morning during COVID, I experienced a moment while listening to a church service on TV that transcended anything that had happened in church in years. As I sang along with the worship team, “’Awesome in this place, Mighty God, I was flooded with the realization that God IS awesome—in EVERY place, every moment!

I cried for the first time in ages. Tears, even a small amount, had eluded me for so long. But that morning I experienced tears of joy and awe in the presence of God—as I knelt right there on the carpet in my dining room.

As we prepare for Thanksgiving Day and all the that we can be thankful for, God reminded me of that moment when I discovered I could cry again. Though it seems odd to be thankful for tears, my gratitude wasn’t just for the physical tears, but for the reminder that I DO still love, I DO still care! And, that God knows, loves, and cares for me.

What are you thankful for that may not seem like a blessing to others?

Be encouraged!

©2022 Pamela D. Williams.

Comments welcome at writepam71@gmail.com