Wednesday, June 24, 2015

I Don't Want to Do This, But I Am

Well, I didn't get the news I was hoping for from the oncologist. The type of cancer I had, triple negative and aggressive, warrants taking a further step to eradicate any stray cells. So, I will begin chemotherapy on July 1st—six treatments, with three weeks between each one.

My first reaction was anger. After all, this just stinks. There were so many things I wanted to do this summer and fall—travel, visit family, hike some trails. Taking chemotherapy wasn’t one of them—most definitely.

I don’t want to do this. I really, really don’t want to do this.

No one does. Fatigue will be a factor, along with low blood counts. My hair will be a total loss. And, of course, there are a myriad of uncommon side effects that a scattered few experience.

But I want to live. So I will do what I have to do with as much courage and faith and dignity as I can muster up.

Thankfully, God is helping me see some positives. I have a doctor with many years of experience and a heart of compassion for his patients. The chemo drugs that he chose seldom cause nausea. I have a husband who loves me and will do everything he possibly can to help me through this. The love and support of my family and friends brings a smile to my face and tears to my eyes. The prayer warriors coming along side of me are a mighty army that stretches far and wide. And, Jesus is holding my hand as He walks this road with me. I am not alone.

I don’t want to do this, but, with God’s help, I am.

Your continued prayers are appreciated.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.”
Isaiah 43:2


©2015 Pamela D. Williams

Wednesday, June 17, 2015


Photo by Pam Williams

I wanted to let you all know that my surgery is over and I am healing very nicely. I actually feel great! No pain whatsoever! Found out Tuesday that there was no cancer in the lymph nodes! Thank You, Lord! All good news!

Since my cancer was triple negative and aggressive, I must meet with an oncologist to determine if prophylactic chemotherapy would be advised. That appointment is on Monday afternoon. I have to admit, this is the scariest part for me. However, I have heard wonderful reports of this particular doctor so I feel very blessed.

My husband Dick has been the best nurse, encourager, companion, and comic relief! He is so very good to me, always anticipating my needs and staying tuned in to where I am emotionally and spiritually. I couldn’t ask for more.

So many people have come along side of us and are walking this journey with us. God is using their hands and voices (and cooking skills—yum!) to support us in every way possible. Their prayers carry us through.

Thank you all for your prayers and notes of encouragement. Knowing that people all over the world are praying for me is a source of deep comfort. I will keep you posted in what lies ahead. May you be blessed in full measure for how you have blessed me.

Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
James 5:14-16


Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Victory thru Faith and Courage

I just wanted to let you all know that I will be cutting back on my blogging for a couple of months. I found out last week I have breast cancer and will be having a mastectomy on June 11th. My doctor is pretty confident that the cancer is contained and surgery will completely eliminate it, but we won’t know for certain till after the surgery.

However, my God knows exactly what is going on. J I can see His hand at work already. I am so thankful that this was caught very early and is not just treatable but curable.

I thank the Lord for leading me to Dr. Blaum, my surgeon. Don’t you just love his mission statement? He is a man of faith and compassion and I trust him. I am in good hands—both his and the Great Physician’s.

 I know from other surgeries that, although my plans are to use the down time to write and post, it just doesn’t happen. I will try to post updates on how things are going. Your prayers are greatly appreciated.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13


©2015 Pamela D. Williams

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Are You More Like A Cat or A Dog?

Are you a cat person or a dog person? In my observations, cats and dogs possess very different traits.

Most dogs (and there are always exceptions, of course), are devoted companions, love wholeheartedly, live to serve, tolerate annoyances, exhibit patience, and feel guilty when they have done wrong.

Cats, on the other hand, exercise independence, love selectively, expect to be served (on time), hiss at small irritations, stalk off at the least provocation, and shed guilt along with their fur.

And yet, I love cats! Despite their apparently selfish ways, they bring me great pleasure. I love stroking our cat, Baxter’s super silky fur, rubbing his translucent ears, cuddling up on the recliner accompanied by his contented purr, listening to his happy chirps as he plays with his favorite rubber ball or chows down on his Friskies, and even his selfish nuzzles and less than gentle pats on my nose when he needs me and I am sleepy.

But perhaps, the underlying reason I love cats is because I identify with them—especially in my Christian walk.

As much as I wish I showed dog-like devotion and always dropped everything to spend time with God, loved Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, lived to serve Him, tolerated annoyances from my fellow Christians, exhibited patience when my prayers were not answered according to my time table, and quickly confessed my wrongdoing, that is not me.

More cat-like, I set aside time for God when it’s convenient, love from selfish motives, expect Him to meet my needs, barely keep my lips zipped when irritated with others, pout and whine when I don’t get what I want when I want it, and automatically try to transfer blame to others when I’m accused of wrong doing.

And yet, unbelievably and undeservedly, God loves me.

“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.”
Zephaniah 3:17

He treasures the time with me. He wants me to cuddle up in His comforting arms and pour out my heart to Him. And, as I do with Baxter, God gives me what I need, not what I want, although I may not like it any more than Baxter likes a trip to the vet.

My soul's desire is to become more devoted, more holy, more trusting, more faithful--in other words, more dog-like. How about you? When it comes to your relationship with God, are you more like a dog or a cat?


©2013 Pamela D. Williams