“If
we’re going to ‘discuss’ this issue when Erin gets home, we better put the
windows down,” my husband said, only half teasing. When our daughter’s quick temper
ramped up, her volume often raised accordingly.
It
doesn’t take long for a disagreement with someone who has a short fuse to spiral
into an argument. Hot-tempered people tend to jump to conclusions, rush to have
their say, and don’t consider the consequences of their words or actions.
Do
you have a hot-tempered person in your life? Could you use a little help in
dealing with them? Here are three tips I have found to help me keep my cool:
LISTEN
RATHER THAN REACT. Proverbs 15:8 says, “Hot tempers cause arguments, but patience
brings peace.” Sometimes I am so caught up in trying to get a word in edgewise,
I don’t really hear the person. Intentionally and tolerantly giving my
attention can prevent arguments from escalating.
ZIP
THE LIP. It is very tempting to counter thoughtless, hostile behavior with an
equally hasty and negative response. So, when an encounter heats up, I try to
swallow my words and remain silent. (Though I am not always successful.) “After
all, even fools may be thought wise and intelligent if they stay quiet and keep
their mouths shut." (Proverbs 17:28).
CALL
FOR A TIME OUT. Very often a short-tempered person will go from aggravation
over minor irritants to bigger issues that somehow end up being the other
person’s fault. At such times, it is easy to get into an argument. However, I
have discovered it is best to call for a time out, explaining that, although we
need to try to understand each other’s concerns, we both need to be in a calmer
frame of mind to be able to do that. “The start of an argument is like the first
break in a dam; stop it before it goes any further.” (Proverbs 17:14)
Though
not easy to implement, these simple suggestions, along with the intervention of
the Holy Spirit, have helped me to deal with hot-tempered people in a more
Christ-like way. Thank God for the power of prayer!
Be
encouraged!
Pam
